Stop Existing and Start Living

A-Math was horrible!!!!

Oh rather, I'm the horrible one, maybe my mom's right, I'm obtuse. She had a hard time explaining Physics to me yesterday and both of us were really losing patience with every minute. Maybe that's why they never have too high of an expectation of me.

Freedom, I always have too much of it. I can daringly return home at 2am, with everybody sleeping soundly, what's there to fear? I can get out of the hotel at 6am in a foreign country and roam the streets alone, they wouldn't care. Actually, they would, if i miss the flight home.

Long long time ago, when everybody was worried that they would get canned or something for getting like 5/10 for spelling, I never had to. When everybody was crying because they were so fearful of their punishments, I was crying because I couldn't prove that I could do it. At times, I felt so odd that I even lied about how scared I was getting punishments similar to theirs. How pathetic right. I hate it when people envy me about how my parents wouldn't do anything to me. Because whether I do well or not, nothing changes. Punishments/rewards you get them all, I don't neither.

Yes, they always believe that hitting, scolding won't work and I agree with that. Maybe, I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe, that's just bliss.

The reason why I refused tuition and all that, apart from the fact that I hate being in an enclosed room with a stranger who stares at me while I work on assessment books for continuously 2 hours, only occasionally talking if I have a doubt, is that I want to prove that I can do it on my own, that good grades can be achieved based on me, me and me myself, that maybe, I'm worthy of expectations.

Hahaha please don't look at me like I'm a psycho after reading this! I have decided that everything I do now will only be for myself. Since I'm in such an advantage position, without the burden of disappointing anyone, I will only need to be responsible for myself. :) That's great.

And actually, to say that my parents don't care for me, is not fair and will only be seemed sensible maybe ten years ago? Maybe not very much, but they do. Nobody is perfect. And there's some quote saying that if you want to find a perfect person to love, you won't have time to love at all and you'll miss all your loved ones around you.

And so is Michael Jackson. He's the King of Pop, but he's not perfect. For things he might have done, or might not, we wouldn't know. But for all the encouraging and lovely songs from him, are always there for the world to see. They're 100% absolutely true. And someone who can produce such pieces couldn't be that bad. I was never really a big fan of him, but I realised I have been listening to his songs since I was really really young. When I heard it on 987 this morning, the lyrics and everything just came so naturally like as if I have heard it a million times. It just felt so familiar even after so many donkey years. That's the impact of his music.