Zero Gravity

Every time we fail, we either tell ourselves, "it's okay, I've tried my best" or "it's okay, this is not my best yet, I can definitely do better next time". But the thing is, many times in reality, you are given only one chance. And sometimes, even giving your best is not enough. In fact, it's never enough.

I'm really really tired. Both mentally and physically.

I want to do well for so many people, I really do. I want them to know they've made the right choice in believing in me.

I've received far more encouragement than I deserve. There are people looking back, in front, and around for me even in this fast-paced world. Even when they don't know what is gg on w my messed up life, even when they themselves are facing their own problems, even when they need encouragement themselves, they always send me their love and let me know that they're still there because they know I need it. A friend told me this: "When i see you so drained and out, my heart really pains." I wanted to cry so much but I held it back.

I've been crying way too much. But those times are really over. I have to be strong now. I have to continue running this race. I really really must. It is no longer my own choice anymore and I realised it has never been all along.

I was thinking, I must have been Mother Teresa in my past life, to have done so much good that I'm getting this treatment right now. I honestly really do love you guys so much from the bottom of my heart. Sometimes, you all make being independent so difficult, because being reliant on you guys is so easy. But I know it's time to stand on my own now. It's time.